Dr. Kia Darling-Hammond really had amazing nuggets of wisdom and considerations for this podcast episode.
It is vital to be introspective and mindful of your needs.
“There’s a really interesting tension that will continue to arise between what other people need from and want from you and what you need for yourself, and you’ll have to navigate those things throughout your life. There is a real danger to not paying attention to and meeting your personal needs -especially around your need for belonging and your need for affirmation, your need to be loved unconditionally, your need to be supported and believed in, and your need to be seen for who you are.”
Others matter, yes, but there are also considerations of ensuring that you’re going to be okay as well while also being respectful of your relationships.
“I know considering other people’s feelings and everything, but at the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you to make sure there’s a better version of you that comes out of this.”
“A person who has committed their life and love and time and resources, to you, to your survival, to your success has made a tremendous contribution. And they’re going to need to some degree to see that acknowledged. And that is actually really, really, really an important part of their emotional landscape, their identity, their health and well-being. And so you get to ask yourself in any relationship, ‘How do I show up in this relationship with integrity?’, ‘How do I walk in my own integrity in a relationship to this?’, but also acknowledge that a piece of how I do that is making sure that I am attending to my needs and health and well-being, right. Healthy, happy, whole people contribute to other people being healthy, happy, and whole.”
Self-reflection and considerations of your relationships are all amazing, but it can only get you so far. Advocating and communicating your boundaries and needs are also important!
“Each of us is responsible for advocating for ourselves and making our needs known.”.